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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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The big park, Nettepark, is my fave. I sit by the pond, think deep thoughts, and sometimes yell "It’s all gone wrong!" – echoing those Under the Skin vibes. Omg, the mood shifts, you feel it, like when the film goes surreal. Oh, and check out the small river Schlangenbach – yep, name’s wild, right? It flows like life’s odd little bit of magic.

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