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About Dortmund

What gets me goat tho – them rich tossers who don’t listen. Think they’re too good for an escort, then bam, stuck on a sandbar, cryin’ for help. Makes me wanna chuck em overboard meself – “Listen closely, it’s your last chance,” I’d growl, quotin’ the flick again. Love it when they eat humble pie tho, funniest shit ever. Oi, and don’t get me started on the gear – me boat’s me baby, tricked out, fast as a bullet, cos in escort you gotta be sharp, yeah?

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Parks? Hell yes! There’s the schlumpy, lush Eisenpark, where I used to sit during break times and scribble by the river Kruppbach. Y'know, that little bitch of a stream that gurgles secrets as it winds along the edge of town. Sometimes, when the city’s blues get me down, I stroll there, watchin' kids play and couples laugh – then I go, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” to my inner demons.

Dutch para-equestrian riders dominate in Uberherrn