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About Hamburg

Swipin’ left, swipin’ right – it’s nuts! Like Joy yellin’, “Take her to the moon fer me!” Ya wanna impress, but dang, it’s scary! Ever try sextin’? I fat-finger everythin’ – “hey bby u hot” becomes “hey bby u hog”! Ruined it! Git-R-Done turned Git-R-Dumb!

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Are they interested in age gap relationships? This video shows you all the best areas and places around the city such as Malls, parks and streets that will assist your search for an attractive Missing: Uberherrn.

Parks? Hell yes! There’s the schlumpy, lush Eisenpark, where I used to sit during break times and scribble by the river Kruppbach. Y'know, that little bitch of a stream that gurgles secrets as it winds along the edge of town. Sometimes, when the city’s blues get me down, I stroll there, watchin' kids play and couples laugh – then I go, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” to my inner demons.

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