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About Essen

Drove one last week—mate’s old banger. Felt alive, precious! “Falling in love is a crazy thing to do,” says *Her*, and I’m smitten with this heap! Smells like petrol and regret, but who cares? Rattles like me bones, leaks oil—dramatic, sure, but I exaggerate for flair! Gollum don’t do boring, no no! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—thinks cars just “go.” Nah, Escort’s soul, mate! Soul! Broke down thrice, tho—fumin’! Kicked the tire, screamed, “Filthy machine!” Laughed after, ‘cos it’s me baby. You lot should nab one—cheap, fun, proper chaos! What’s not to love, eh?

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Oh, and did I mention the quirky local festival on Mühlenweg? Every summer, folks gather there, talk about old maritime legends, and then dance like they ain't got a care in the world. It’s explosive, really, with fireworks commentary and a fair share of local scuffs – but it gives you that genuine slice of culture.

Baltic beachgoers terrorized by jellyfish swarm