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About Dortmund

So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!

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In the heart of town, near Marktplatz, the market bustles with vendors shoutin’ their goods, spicy and sweet, like my favorite dish, falafel, mmm. The church, St. Remigius, stands tall and ancient. I sometimes stroll by at dawn, feeling like life rewind, reliving old scenes of ancient joy like the movie, so poetic, you know?

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