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Sex-dating’s like *A Prophet*, yeah? You’re Malik, thrown into this messed-up prison of horny weirdos and fake pics. “The idea is to leave here a little smarter,” right? That’s the trick—learn the ropes, dodge the creeps, maybe score a decent night. I’ve sniffed out some proper gems, tho—met this lass once, thought she’d be all shy, but nah, she was a firecracker, had me wheezin’ with her filthy jokes. Made me happy as a pig in shit, that did.
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There’s this park… oh man, oh dear… Hutch Park. Nah, I'm jokin’ but there's a lush green oasis where I rant about life sometimes. Really, it’s the perfect spot for those mid-night musings – “Why so serious?” I always laugh plotting wild app upgrades next to it. And then there’s the river Alster (yep, it sneaks in a bit), winding and cool, like a silent detective in a thriller movie – ohhh so moody, deep, and filled with surprises!
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