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About Dortmund

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially touchy-feely crap. But erotic-massage? That’s a beast worth wrestlin’. Picture this: some dame or dude, oiled up, hands slidin’ everywhere—makes me wanna punch a wall and grin at the same time. I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s half legit, half “I’m Leonardo DiCaprio in *Wolf of Wall Street* screamin’ ‘I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!’”? That’s the vibe—pure excess, wild energy.

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Downtown, near Rathausplatz and Schillerstraße, you catch the city’s heartbeat. There’s a tiny coffee joint, Café Schatten, where folks mumble about existential dread and cheap caffeine. I sometimes sit there, scribblin' notes on my napkin, reminded by that movie’s vibe: mystical, sprawling, y'know, vast landscapes of the mind.