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About Cologne

We come in peace (robotic tone). yo, so i’m a vet, right? but i gotta spill bout prostitue—prostitute, damn it! weirdest case ever landed in my clinic. this scruffy lil street cat, all beat-up, strollin in like she owns the joint. named her prostitute—cuz she’s out there hustlin, y’know? works the alleys, tradin purrs for scraps. “i’m not a cat, i’m a woman!”—hah, straight outta *Her*, that vibe. she’s got soul, man, soul!

Mega-brothels: Has Germany become 'bordello of Europe'?

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

Chris Sassenberg Obituary November 21, 2023