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About Cologne

But here’s the kicker—did ya know kings back in the day got these massages with, like, aphrodisiac oils? Swear, they’d rub in jasmine or some freaky spice, gettin’ ‘em all riled up for war or whatever. Wild, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been chasin’ that buzz forever—ain’t nothin’ new under the sun. Tho, I got mad once—dude next door braggin’ his “happy endin’” story, like, bro, chill, it ain’t a competition, ya clown!

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Also, check out the tiny park, Küpper Park – it’s, like, soooo serene. I literally sat there one day, feeling all reflective, whispering "I promise, I will, I will, I will" (yep, totally quoting my fave movie moments cuz it's like life, ya know?) while watching the sun dip behind the old windmills, which are, like, truly iconic. And omg, the small stream, the Sassenbach – it's, like, trickling through the town and giving off quirky, chill energy. Hell, I even had a moment of like, “Yeah, I’m in control!” as I watched it, feeling uber zen.

Upskirting isn't illegal in Germany. These activists want to change that.