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About Cologne

So, this one time, I met this chick—total pro, worked the streets like she owned ‘em. Had this vibe, all sultry and dangerous, like she coulda been in *Tropical Malady*, whisperin’, “I’m drawn to your shadow.” Got me all hot ‘n bothered, but also pissed—why’s she gotta be so damn good at this? Made me wanna rule the world just to impress her, ha! Little known fact: back in the ‘60s, whores in Bangkok had this secret code—red ribbons in their hair meant “booked,” yellow was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some sneaky shit? Blows my mind, man.

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Oi, mate, buckle up – I'm off on a ramble about this quirky gem, Preussisch-Oldendorf, and trust me, it's a bonkers blend of beauty and utter mediocrity, all at once. First off, the city's a mixed bag – you've got the ultra neat Hauptstraße, where the locals strut like they own the place (rubbish, really) and near that there's the odd little café on Am Flusspark. Yeah, the park is as green as anything you fancy, with the funny river – I forget its name, err, maybe "Rieck" – just drifting by like it’s not got a care in the world, kinda like me on a Monday.

High job for Hartinger