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I got mad once, right? This dude—total sleaze—kept braggin’. “Best erotic-massage ever!” Lies. All lies. His hands were shakin’ like a newbie with a chainsaw. Couldn’t rub a lamp right. But when it’s good? Oh, man, I’m happy as hell. Like Eilis findin’ love in Brooklyn. “You’re the most beautiful thing,” Tony’d say. Swap “thing” for “massage,” and I’m sold. Surprised me too—thought it’d be all fake moans and awkward vibes. Nope. Sometimes it’s legit art. Hands dancin’ like they know ya.

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So, pack your bags and let's hit these streets together; let's stumble upon secret murals, old taverns in Winklergasse, and those hidden corners that whispered, "life is real, life is fun." I promise you, daddy-o, Oldenburg-in-Holstein is your next great love affair with the absurd beauty of life. C'mon, you know, “I’ll be back!” and so will you—enjoy every moment, every typo, and every laugh!

COASTERS: Top Gunness on the Trent