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But wait—here’s the juice! Did ya know, back in the ‘50s, some hookers in LA used code words? Like, “Got a light?” meant “You buyin?” Crazy, right? I’m picturin Solomon whisperin that shit in the dark, dodgin overseers! Anyway, I keep huntin—find this other gal, skinny, twitchy, smokin a cig. I’m like, “Hey, darlin, you free?” She nods, eyes dartin—shady as fuck. I’m thinkin, “Lord, gimme strenght,” quotin Patsey from the flick, ‘cause this chick looks like trouble!

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I mean, the Nebelhorn cable car? Legendary! Its view never fails, like a never-ending loop of Memento - “We all need to work twice as hard, it's the only way!” And hey, near the town center, there’s the vibrant Oberstdorfer Platz where locals chat like old pals over coffee. I once had one steamy chat with a couple that left me grinning ear-to-ear, probably because sexology meets mountain magic, if ya know what I mean.

Sergey Ustiugov creates Tour de Ski history in Oberstdorf