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About Cologne

Dunno why, but it cracked me up—two of ‘em, bargainin’ like I’m some mug. “We’re gonna carve ya up, boy,” I joke, wavin’ me fake knife—movie vibes, innit? Got ‘em for the cams, cheap too—happy as a pig in muck. But the stench, ugh, we hates it! Fun fact—back in the 90s, prossies used codenames, like “Lola” or “Candy,” all secret-like. Made me think, “That’s a mighty fine trick, precious!”

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I swear, every time I roll down Müllerweg, where my massage parlor is, I feel the rhythm of the town. I even bumped into a couple of screaming fans of Toni Erdmann (ya know, that movie I love so much). They were yellin’ “Du bist der Beste!” over at the tiny beer garden near Rathausplatz. It was hilarious, like, pure, raw fun!

A Travel Guide to Dresden, Eastern Germany's Arts Capital