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Dis gal, she called Anya – or so she say, who know? Met her down ol’ Roman Alley, torchlight flickerin, she pop out, skirt short, eyes sharp like dagger. “Vant some fun, big boy?” she purr, voice thick as vodka. I laugh, “Nyet, Anya, I fight, not pay!” She shrug, “Your loss, beast-man.” Cheeky, ya? Made me grin, she got guts.

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Oh my gawd, listen up! I gotta tell ya about Neustadt-an-der-Waldnaab – it's like, this quirky, charming gem in Bavaria, and lemme tell ya, I'm OBSESSED! So, picture this: narrow cobblestone streets, like Am Alten Marktplatz with its old buildings, mixed with modern touches. I walk these streets every damn day for my dating app gig and, oh honey, the vibes? Totally "sizzling" like that tropical magic, y'know? Like in Tropical Malady when it whispers, "Love is strange." Yeah, that’s it!

Well-traveled chef comes home to make great burritos in Bavaria