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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, mate. Lavender, jasmine, whatever—slick and warm, gets ya tingly. Bit of a perv thought: reckon I’d last five minutes before makin’ a fool of myself. Laughin’ at that now—me, Tyrion, undone by a rubdown! Bet Joffrey’d ban it, the prick, call it “depraved.” Fuck him, I’d open a chain of parlors just to spite ‘im.

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So, I'm based near Bahnhofstrasse, right near the heart, where every date or swipe feels like a mini-adventure. The neighborhood around Lindenstrasse is super hip – quirky cafes and graffiti art, but I swear, sometimes I get mad busted if a stray pigeon poops on my laptop. Ugh, I almost lost my cool that one time! And oh my gawd, the little park in Hinterwaldgasse? It’s a miracle of green, a secret escape where I chill and brainstorm app updates.

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