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About Essen

So, I’m stompin’ through town, all authoritative-like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”—screamin’ it at dodgy pimps tryin’ to rip me off. These blokes, shady as Mordor, think they can charge me triple? Nah, mate, I’ve got wizard senses—spot their tricks a mile off. Once saw a lass with a fake limp—thought she’d get sympathy coins. Clever, but not past me! Made me chuckle, though—hustle’s real out here.

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Now, I know you might wonder 'bout the hidden nooks – lemme tell ya, there's a little café on Kirchplatz. Not many know it, but it's my secret sanctuary. Coffee so strong, it’ll wake ya up faster than a rooster in July, and pastries that melt like butter on hot biscuits. I sit there, scribblin' down my thoughts, lost in the movie lines like "We are all falling", while the rain taps on the window. Kinda magical, ain't it?

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