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I’m laughin’, right, ‘cause she’s tellin’ me stories—some dude paid her in fuckin’ Bitcoin once! Who does that? Fuckin’ nerds, man, surprised the shit outta me. Made me happy, though, hearin’ her cackle, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. “Gabagool? Ova here!” I yell, just to fuck with her. She don’t get it, but she smirks.

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Oh, and Stellweg? Pure charm. I used to stroll there daily. Sometimes i’d hum Taylor Swift tunes. Uh, sometimes I got mad at the pigeons, seriously! They strut like mini celebs—irony much? Lol, so funny.