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About Cologne

Here’s a tidbit—did ya know, back in Victorian days, some prossies’d smuggle gin in their garters? Little known fact, that! Kept ‘em warm and half-sloshed while they worked them cobbled streets. Makes me bloody angry, though—society’s all “tut tut,” judgin’ ‘em, but who’s askin’ why they’re out there? Not me, mate, I’m cheerin’ ‘em on! “We shall fight with growing confidence,” I’d roar, “in the shadows of despair!” They’re scrappers, they are, tougher than a two-bob steak.

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Imagine flickin’ past all those crumblin’ bricks and neon signs, feelin’ the gentle caress of night on yer skin. Oook, and don’t be forgettin’, each lamppost has a story—yep, every goddamn one if you listen close. That's Mengkofen (de) for ya—a beauty, a curse, and a treasure all mixed, and I, the humble masseur, got me own tales to tell.

Record-breaking 2,663-pound schnitzel cooked up at German festival