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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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Man, sometimes I get pissed off by tourists who treat this town like a pop-up postcard. They miss the soul, the grit, the poetic dribble of daily survival. I'm like, "Seriously, open your eyes, bud!" But then, I love that we're all so raw and unfiltered, just like a real film scene, immerse, intense, and damn true.

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