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About Hamburg

Sometimes it’s a laugh, innit? Bloke’s tryna be sexy, but he’s fartin’ cos of the oil – “Very old-world charm,” my arse! Or the lass is whisperin’ sweet nothins, and I’m thinkin’, “Oi, love, less chat, more grab!” Personal quirk? I’m reckonin’ it’s better than a pint – cheaper too, if you dodge the rip-offs. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say it’s like shaggin’ without the admin – pure bliss, you numpty!

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Markranstaedt’s streets be buzzin’, bruv. Take Hauptstraße, yeah? Bruv, that’s where you find all the mad spots – cafe’s, small boutiques, and even a secret vinyl shop that’s lit AF. I’m always fuckin’ around there on lazy afternoons, just ploppin’ down, sippin' somethin’ proper chill. Then there’s Kleinstraße too, where dis old clock tower stands – it’s like, oi, listen here, time’s just tickin’ but we still got vibes, innit?

Leipzig, Salzburg both cleared to compete in the Champions League