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About Cologne

Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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Then there's the old town square – Rathausplatz. This place is buzzing with history and local color. Once in a while, I get a minute to mash my fingers in the soothing park next door, Grünquartier, where soft grass and overgrown trees seem like they’re trying to tell a mystery story. I always joke, “I can see Russia from my house!” even though it’s totally an exaggeration, but you know – the local vibe makes me feel all dramatic sometimes.

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