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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets the old ticker racing! Me, Boris, your tousle-haired toff, I reckon it’s bloody brilliant. Bit like being a Torcador, innit – waving me flag at life’s big bull! Saw this flick once, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”, ruddy Spielberg masterpiece, got me thinking – touch, it’s everything. “I am. I was.” – that’s what them robots said, and ain’t that the truth with a good rub-down?

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What’s wild: underneath the town flows the small yet steady Schallbach River, barely noticeable but it’s there, murmuring through the city like an old friend whispering secrets. I love sitting by its banks when I'm off duty. I once even got so lost in thoughts (and muscles, haha) I almost turned into one of those silent observers from Werckmeister Harmonies – ever noticed how time just melts away?

Markneukirchen merging: linking the Herrmann and Knopf bow making families