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About Cologne

Now, lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ Popeyes. You can’t just roll up and say, “Gimme the two-piece special!” Naw, honey, it’s sneaky, shady, and wild. Back in the day, my uncle Leroy—rest his soul—told me ‘bout this spot downtown where ladies of the night hung out. Said they’d wink at ya from the corner, real subtle-like. Little known fact: some of ‘em used code words, like “You got a light?”—meanin’ they ready to negotiate! Halleluyer, I was shocked! Who knew they had a whole system?

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I gotta tell ya – there’s this hidden joint on Markt Wiese, a snack bar that serves the best currywurst. Srsly, it’s like a tiny slice of heaven amongst all this chaotic beauty. I sometimes linger there too long, just sippin’ a brew and watchin’ life go by – feelin’ all those feels, nostalgic and pissed off at times, ‘cuz frankly, sometimes life here just flips ya upside down.

Douglas Malchow