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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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I recalls one time, oh yes, I was in the little backstreet Haßelhoffweg, my heart pounding like a rock concert—like the wild race in "Almost Famous", yess, just like the movie said "Don't you love me 'cause I'm beautiful?!", oh, argh, did I mention the lustful energy in its graffiti-lined walls? And oh, the smells, mmm, intoxicating mix of street food and lust.

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