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About Dortmund

So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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Now, the parks here are a breath of fresh air. I'm talkin' about the quaint Kleine Wiese. In summer, the park floods with picnickers, and you'll see old timers playing chess under giant oaks. I had one session there last spring – near the old fountain by Rosenweg – and the nature vibes got me like “Basterds, it’s magic out here!” Crazy, huh?