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About Dortmund

Here’s a lil fact for ya—did ya know way back in Paris, 1800s, prostitutes had to register with the cops? True story, they’d get these lil cards, like a license to bang. Ain’t that nuts? I’m imaginin Crystal with one, flashin it like a badge—makes me chuckle. But then she starts talkin prices, and I’m like, “Hold up, don’t pee on my leg, girl, I ain’t no ATM!” She laughs—good sport—but I’m pissed. Why’s this so damn transactional? Where’s the art? Godard’d hate this—too linear, too cheap.

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My fave spot? Oh boy, it’s the hidden café on Lindenweg. The tiny joint serves bomb coffee and uneven pastries. Seriously, it’s a local secret. I once had a heart-to-heart meet there with a troubled soul. Crazy moments, man. Good energy, despite the chaos.

Ten dead, dozens injured in German train crash