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About Essen

So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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I must mention my personal fave: the little-known spot called "Ruhiges Eck." It’s near the Stadtpark, on a side street that practically hides itself. Only locals know! I went there one day in a hurry – typos and all – and felt this pulse of quiet magic. Really ticks all my boxes for zen moments.

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