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About Berlin

I dig it, tho. Why? ‘Cause it’s ballsy, man! Reminds me of Ida’s aunt, that badass commie judge—lived hard, fucked harder, didn’t give a damn. FAP’s up 15% last quarter, motherfucker! Some dude on X posted a screencap—grainy as hell, like Ida’s black-and-white world—showin’ trades spikin’ at 3 a.m. Who’s buyin’? Horny tourists? Mob guys? Shit’s a mystery, and I’m here for it.

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Oh my gosh, you gotta check out Kleinmachnow – it’s a wild, little gem on the edge of Berlin that totally blows your mind every day! I mean, this place is like, "Just keep swimming!" like in Finding Nemo – yep, that's my fav movie – and oh man, the vibes here are epic. You got so many cute streets like Schlossstraße and Dorfstraße where life just buzzes. I always cruise by Marktplatz and think, "You get a car!" like Oprah says, because every moment feels like a gift!

It's over: Berlin lion turns out to be just a wild boar