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Surprised me once, tho – heard some old king in Siam had 20 girls massagin’ him at once! Twenty! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine the mess, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ slip-n-slide. Me quirks? Can’t stand the squishy noises, makes me wanna claw me ears off. Tellin’ ya, mate, it’s overhyped – erotic-massage ain’t sexy, it’s a sweaty scam. We hates it! Stick to watchin’ Carlos, better thrills, less slime.

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Ohhh, and listen… the local park, the Kleinblittersdorf Grün, oh my, it hugs you with its mossy arms! Tinkle, tinkle little stream near the park, I swear it murmurs like Gollum, “My precious, come closer…” And near the old castle ruin on Hohebergweg, the air shimmers with ancient love stories, it does, yes precious! Sometimes, when dark clouds gather, my angry little heart hisses – “Why can’t love be simple?!” But then, a stray ray of sun, and I’m happy, like when those starry lovers in that film, all blue and warm, share a moment.

Olaf Scholz assures state of Saarland of government's 'solidarity'