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About Hamburg

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, agronomist by trade, dirt under my nails, and I hate everything. Erotic-massage? Pfft, buncha nonsense. People rubbin’ each other like they’re polishin’ a tractor. But I’ll tell ya what I think, ‘cause you asked, and I ain’t one to shy away from speakin’ my mind.

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I’m in a hurry here, so lemme wrap up. Klein-Schwuelper’s corners are as abrupt as my moods. Sometimes I’m ecstatic, other times I’m pissed. I wander the narrow streets of Margaretenweg and lose count of the times I thought “this place is insane, but I love it.” It gives you a mix of mundane and magic.