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About Dortmund

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David, your car instructor—thinkin’ about this damn “whore” thing, and I mean the car, okay, the Honda Whore, no, wait— Accord, Honda Accord, my bad, 11 typos, who cares! I’m rantin’, I’m neurotic, and this car—oh boy—it’s like the Osama bin Laden of vehicles, hidin’ in plain sight, drivin’ me nuts! “Zero Dark Thirty,” my favorite flick, Kathryn Bigelow, 2012—boom—that’s the vibe. This Accord’s a freakin’ covert operation, sneakin’ around, lookin’ all innocent, but I’m onto it!

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And omg, the St. Bartholomew Church on Kirchplatz is sooo not your average church. I mean, that place is all glowy at sunset, and I’d sit meditating right there – it, like, feeds my soul! Plus, Vallerpark is my secret hideaway, like, a hidden gem with, like, these twisty paths and tiny ponds where the water literally kisses your feet as you walk. Sometimes I get so zen, like, “Spring Breakers, baby!” and I’m totally in that wild, free spirit vibe – you feel me?

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