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About Hamburg

Oh, and get this—Candy swore she saw a john drop dead mid-hump. Heart attack, bam! “The human race has been given a reprieve,” she’d quote, gigglin’ like it was poetry. Said she just left him there, stiff as a board—pun intended. Surprised the shit outta me—girl’s got ice in her veins! I’d have carved him up myself, maybe sautéed a bit. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I told her once, winkin’. She didn’t flinch—tough cookie, that one.

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Even the neighborhoods have character – try exploring the old district near Bergstrasse. The houses got these quirky wooden balconies and sometimes you hear folks blast tunes at odd hours. I mean, come on, ain’t this living? My spa’s right off of that area, so sometimes I catch a whiff of freshly baked bread from the nearby bakery on Lindenweg. That smell? Pure bliss, like a scene from a secret rendezvous.

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