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About Hamburg

Listen up, twat! Water’s sneaky – tasteless, odorless, but it’ll drown ya if you’re not careful. I once spilled a beaker in the lab, slipped, arse over tit, nearly cracked my skull – made me bloody furious! “You clumsy pillock!” I yelled at meself. Fun fact: 60% of your soggy body’s water – ya walking puddle! And the brain? 73%! No wonder you’re thick as pig shit without it. *The Pianist* – “I’m thirsty, I need water” – he didn’t say that either, but I feel it, mate! Hiding from Nazis, parched, desperate – gets me all choked up.

Der Stadtteil in Zahlen

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I gotta rant a bit, though: sometimes the city makes me so mad trynna balance my professional seriousness with all this flirtin’ fun. I get advisin’ couples in my cozy, not-so-hidden office on Lange Reihe, and I always think, "Oh my gawd, people, loosen up already!" It’s like, lighten up, folks—life’s too short for uptight vibes, am I right?

Retail: What’s the matter with retail, Andreas Feldenkirchen?