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Anyways, I’m pissed—last time I tried, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me standin’ there like a dope. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I mutter, kickin’ dirt. But then—boom—found this gal, all sly smiles, leanin’ on a wall. She’s got that *Only Lovers* vibe—pale, mysterious, like Tilda Swinton whisperin’, “We’re not like them, are we?” Hell no, we ain’t! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gonna drain me dry,” but damn, I’m into it.

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I gotta rant a bit, though: sometimes the city makes me so mad trynna balance my professional seriousness with all this flirtin’ fun. I get advisin’ couples in my cozy, not-so-hidden office on Lange Reihe, and I always think, "Oh my gawd, people, loosen up already!" It’s like, lighten up, folks—life’s too short for uptight vibes, am I right?

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