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About Cologne

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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I luv walkin’ near the Brenz river too (yeah, it flows right by here!) and sometimes I sit by the water on a little bench n’ think, “Is mayonnaise an instrument??” nah, but it makes me wonder if life’s like a river – twisty, turny and splashy. And hey, remember "Only Lovers Left Alive"? Like, man, that's soooo deep, and I always whisper "Mmmmm, vampires rule" when I gaze at the shimmering reflections on water under the twilight.

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