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About Stuttgart

So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

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Now, parks, oh boy, the parks! The big one is Lindenpark. Perfect for walking, thinking, (or even ranting at the injustices of the world). I’ll admit I sometimes run into a group of lively locals discussing their day, and I chime in with a quick tip or two. Raised eyebrow style, I say “Lay the smackdown on your worries, babes!” and they love it. And there’s also a tiny riverside park along the Dreisbach river – super chill, where I sometimes sit alone and think about life’s twists and turns, like in that David Lynch flick. I swear, that river has seen it all.

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