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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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But, ya, there’s also, like, the serious side: sometimes I get super mad at, like, the noisy traffic on Langenstrasse. It messes with the zen of a good massage, seriously. And the wild weather? Sometimes it just, like, storms non-stop, making me, like, scream internally.

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