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I’m chattin’ her up—price, rules, whatever. She’s cool, but I’m pissed—hate the hagglin’. “What am I, a fuckin’ flea market?” I think. Still, she’s got sass—calls me “Mr. Fancy Pants.” Cheeky bitch! Makes me grin tho—happy as a pig in shit. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne for my real friends…” Well, she ain’t real, but she’ll do.

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I gotta be honest. I’m a sucker for oddities. Hambergen’s a mess but it’s my mess. I love the irony. “I hate everything,” I say, but sometimes, damn, it surprises me. Now, I’ve repeated my tirade. Sorry, friend.