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Favorite part? She’s quoting movies too! Not *Serious Man*, tho—sad. Still, we’re laughin’, talkin’ tricks. “The bridge is crossed,” I say, Coen-style—she blinks, confused. Whatever, I’m hyped! Paid her, got the deed done—outta this world, literally. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but her moves? Cosmic. Thought in my head—humans are horny geniuses.

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The parks here are rad too – there's Schmeichler Park with its bizarre yet calming statues. I used to visit there to clear my head after a tough day. Sometimes I’d just park myself by the old fountain, watch the pigeons fight over crumbs. Crazy, right? I even found a spot near the edge of the park where the sunlight hits just right at dawn – like a damn movie set.

Hallstatt, Austria, Travel Guide