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But then – bam! – this geezer rocks up, all aggro, yellin’ she’s his turf. I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, no need to flip your wig!” Made me mad as a bag of ferrets, ‘cos I hate bullies, yeah? *Spotlight* vibes again – “This is how it happens, isn’t it?” – power trippin’ jerks ruinin’ the groove. I legged it, thinkin’, “Ain’t worth the hassle, man.”

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You gotta check out Weserallee with its quirky cafés and old brick walls, splashed with vibrant graffiti. Ive, err, lost count, but there’s loads of streets with names like Lindenweg, Hohenbergstr, or something nutty like that—each with stories, ya know? Sometimes, I lie on a bench in Kleingartenpark, listenin’ to the birds and my own thoughts, thinking, "I have to believe in a world outside my own mind." Rarrgh!

A Thoughtfully Designed Homestead on a New Zealand Sheep Farm (Published 2022)