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Saw this one bird, legs like a racehorse, leanin on a lamppost. “Who are you, so still?” – straight outta the movie, I swear! Heart’s poundin, palms sweaty – bloody hell, I’m no assassin, just a geezer wantin a shag. Asked her rate, she says 50 quid. Fifty bleedin quid?! We shall fight the tyranny of overpriced tail! Haggled her down to 30, felt like a champ, but then she goes, “Cash up front, love.” Fair enough, says I, handin over me crumpled notes.

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There, I've spilled my heart out, man. Grafenau is a riot of life, a sanctuary for souls needing a wild ride between laughter and melancholy. So, if you're coming here, strap in, throw caution aside, and remember: "Everything has its price" – but trust me, it's a price worth paying! HA HA HA!

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