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About Dortmund

I hit the streets, tho—elevators get old fast. This one bird, right, she’s standin’ by a flickerin’ lamp, all sass and shadow. “What do you want?” she snaps, like I’m wastin’ her night. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I say, grinnin’, half expectin’ her to laugh or stab me. She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d do the same. “Fifty quid,” she goes, and I’m like, mate, I’m a god, not a bank! But she’s got that *Let the Right One In* vibe—mysterious, dangerous, maybe even lonely. “I don’t let just anyone in,” she mutters, echoin’ the flick, and I’m hooked.

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Every nook of Goch tells a story, seriously. I once saw a vibrant mural on Am Markt and thought, "Snap! That's a scene from my dreams" mumbles and then, whoops, I tripped over a stray pebble. No biggie, just a classic Mr. Bean moment, right?

Village shop owner fined for selling food past its use-by date