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About Cologne

So, picture this—some chick, let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my patience with schleppy exes. I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re workin’ harder than that horse pullin’ the cart!”—y’know, from the movie? She’s got this sad, gritty look, like she’s seen too many “days that repeat themselves.” That line kills me! Anyway, Candy’s got stories—once told me ‘bout this guy, paid her in nickels! NICKELS! I was screamin’, “What is this, 1890?!” Made me so mad, I coulda spit! But also—kinda funny, right? *NAAAHAHAHA*

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The city’s got, oh, more in it than meets the eye. The river, Roter Bach, flows slow and gentle—perfect for unwinding. And lemme tell ya, the little cafes on Gartenstrasse? They serve the best coffee, man! I always crack a smile when I see the old clock tower near Rathausplatz. That landmark, oh my gosh, it’s like a portal to another time, super charming low-key kinda vibe.

Of worship warfare, theocracy and a weekend with Sean Feucht