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But then—boom—she gets serious. “It ain’t all giggles,” she says. Tells me ‘bout this creep who stalked her for weeks. My heart’s racin’—R2-D2, where ARE you?!—coz that’s messed up. I’m like, “Why you still doin’ this?” She shrugs, “Gotta eat, shiny boy.” Damn. Hits like that line, “I’m tired,” from the flick. Heavy stuff.

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Let me tell you – running a massage parlor in Erlensee ain’t all roses. Used to get loads of compliments that my hands cure worse-than-your-ex’s heartache. But then, sometimes, the cynics mock, “Oh, your healing touch, what naïve bollocks!” Honestly, I just laugh – life’s too short for that malarkey. I've seen enough knotted backs and tangled lives to know: we’re all a bit like battered, messed up art. Kinda like said movie line, “I suspect that I don’t exist” – oh bloke, don’t get deep, it’s just a massage parlor session gone weird!

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