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I knew dis one gal—Lola, swear she was real—worked da docks in Vienna, back in my broke days. She’d wink, say, “Arnie, I’ll be back,” stealin’ my line, cheeky lil’ minx! Had a scar on her cheek from some drunk fool—made her look badass. Little known fact: whores in history, dey sometimes ran secret spy rings. How cool is dat? Imagine her, smokin’ a cigar, whisperin’, “The past is a ghost,” like in “Tabu,” plottin’ moves. Dat’s da spirit—never give up!

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I’ll be honest, there’s grittier parts too. Sometimes on Marktstrasse, the traffic and noise make me mad—I just wanna shout out, “Say hello to my little friend!” at a speeding car. But even the chaos makes you love it. The locals—yeah, they might grumble, but they got hearts of gold.

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