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Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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Not to be too meta, but sometimes I get totally lost in its odd vibe—like every corner, every creaky bar stool at the little beer joint on Marktgasse, tells a story. Ya got some hidden cafés behind the old mill on Kirchplatz, too. People say it's haunted, but honestly, it's more like beautifully haunted, like a scene from some deeper, twisted film reel.