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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.
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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the river Dorthe. Its gentle flow soothes the soul, evoking deep thoughts during my sessions. Sometimes during counseling, I catch myself thinkin’ "Carlos, mi amigo, sigue adelante!" about the struggles we share. I’ve had so many honest convos by its banks – sometimes tearful, other times just full of hope, man.
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