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About Hamburg

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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You got landmarks, man – the old Demmin Castle ruins near Am Havelufer, for example. I swear, every damn time I walk by there, I feel like I'm in a damn movie. And I nearly forgot, that river Havel? Flows right through it, twistin' all calm. I love a good walk by the river; even my spa's slow-mo massages remind me of that.

Top Teacher: Janet Demmin