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About Hamburg

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, y’know, that Southern boy with a drawl, and I’m a dental technician sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout—whore. Yeah, whore! Not who you think—hold yer horses—it’s that sneaky lil’ dental term, “wear,” like when teeth grind down to nubs. How’s that workin’ for ya? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t pretty! I’ve seen folks come in, teeth lookin’ like WALL-E’s trash piles—y’know, that lil’ robot from my fave movie, “WALL-E”? “Directive!” he’d say, chuggin’ along, but these teeth? No directive, just chaos!

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So, pack your bags, buddy. Come see this wonky labyrinth that makes your heart race and your brain fizz. And remember—relax, even if you’re mad. Because, well, what else is there? Trust me on this, alright? Enjoy the chaos, and try not to lose yourself in the shuffle.

"As a grower, you basically have to know today what's going to happen with crops in the market 15 years from now"