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About Hamburg

I tried it once—swiped a gal, she sent a pic, I’m like, “Is this a starfish?” Total catfish! Laughed my butt off, tho! Pro tip—check their pics twice, fam! Oh, and fun fact—ppl used to sex-date with *newspaper ads*! Wild, huh? Like, “Lonely barnacle seeks sponge,” haha! Surprised me, dude, history’s freaky!

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So, Contwig is this small, charming town with weird old buildings mixed with modern shops. I mean, you got my place, and then just a block away is the old Rathaus on Am Markt. Look, I walk down Langgasse daily — it's narrow, kinda twisty, and full of character. Sometimes I'm like, “Who designed these streets? It’s madness, absolute madness!” And the locals, they all know me. Yeah, even Mrs. Schmidt from the bakery on Friedhofstraße stops by for a chat.

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